Sexual Intimacy

Yes, this is a ‘taboo topic’, even between some couples. But should it be? It is important to understand what goes on in the body and mind during sex, as well as the general misconceptions. Sex is not only physical; it is also emotional and spiritual. Physical being for their satisfaction, pleasure and health; Emotional for their love, attachment and unity; Spiritual is not only for those who are religious, it is the meaning and purpose, a way for a couple to progress together. With physical, emotional, and spiritual together a couple can have Sexual Wholeness.

Men and women do not experience sex in the same way. Men are often aroused sooner than women, generally women do not even know when they are aroused. Without understanding this, a man may think his wife is not enjoying their time. A wise couple will openly communicate about what they prefer, and would learn more about sex by talking together. Spouses are not mind-readers, it is very important to talk about every aspect of marriage, including sexual intimacy.

When aroused there are extra hormones in the brain: adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine (and oxytocin in women). Normally women need to feel safety and security before they can be sexual, men are the opposite, and they feel safety and security through having sex. This is another reason why stereotypical men are very promiscuous and said to always have sex on their mind.

Men and women should understand these differences in order to know that sex is not a selfish activity; it is for your spouse. One very, very important thing to note is that sex does not need to be ‘practiced’ before marriage. As found in research, couples who wait until after marriage to have sex have better communication, quality, satisfaction, and stability in their marriage. This is a way to show each other they are willing to wait and save themselves for each other.